Relative clauses = used to give extra information about someone or something.

Defining:
Used to give essential information.
It is information that we need in order to understand what or who is being referred to.
A defining relative clause usually comes immediately after the noun it describes.
                 Who, whom, which, that, where, when, whose, why, can be omitted sometimes.


“The woman who/that lives next door is a doctor” (‘who lives next door’ tells us which woman)
“This is John whom/that you met last year”
“I work for a company which/that sells tours”
“What’s the name of the place where your parents live?”
“I remember the time (when) I met you” (‘when’ can be omitted)
“We met a guy whose dog was a rottweiler”
“The film was the reason (why) he became famous” (‘why’ can be omitted)

Non-defining:
Gives us extra information about someone or something.   
It isn’t essential for understanding who or what we are talking about.
Always between commas or comma and full stop if they come at the end of the sentence.                      

        Who, whom, which, where, when, whose = CANNOT be omitted.
                               that cannot be used

“My grandfather, who is 97, goes swimming every morning”
“This morning I met Sam, whom I hadn’t seen for ages”
“John told me about his new job, which he is not enjoying very much.”
“I have just come back from London, where my in-laws live.”
“The picture was taken yesterday, when it was raining.”
“My boss, whose car had broken down, was in a very bad mood”

Who

That
(in defining only)  
For people and sometimes pet animals.

‘That’ is more common and more informal and can be used only in defining clauses.  
Defining: ‘Who/that’ can be omitted when possible.

Non-defining: ‘Who’ cannot be omitted.  

Defining (essential information needed to understand what or who is being referred to)
‘Who’ can act as the subject (followed by a verb) of the relative clause.

“She’s the woman who/that cuts my hair”              “She’s the woman who/that she cuts my hair”
                  subject                  verb

“She likes a guy who/that is in the army”                 “She likes a guy who/that he is in the army”
                 subject             verb

‘Who’ can act as the object (followed by a subject) of the relative clause.
This ‘who’ can be OMITTED.

“The woman (who/that) my brother wanted to see was away on holiday”
         object                          subject

“That’s the woman (who/that) he married”            “That’s the woman who/that he married her
                    object                   subject

“Do you know the woman (who/that) Tom is talking to?” (Tom = subject. He is talking to someone)

“The woman (who/that) he felt in love with left him after a month” (He = subject. He felt in love)

“The man (who/that) I was sitting next to on the plane talked all the time” (I = subject. I was sitting)

Non-defining (with commas or comma and full stop if they come at the end of the sentence to separate them from the rest of the sentence. Extra information not needed to understand who or what is being referred to)

“My uncle, who speaks Spanish and French, works as a tour guide”
                         “My uncle, who he speaks Spanish and French, works as a tour guide”

“My neighbour, who is very noisy, is a musician”
                        “My neighbour, who he/she is very noisy, is a musician”

“The picture shows John’s wife Lucy, who he married in 2020” This ‘who’ cannot be OMITTED.
                        “The picture shows John’s wife Lucy, who he married her in 2020.”

Whom

That (in defining only)

Who (less formal)
People in formal styles or in writing.

Often with a preposition.

Rarely used in conversation.

Used instead of who if who is the object.  
Defining: ‘Whom/that’ can be omitted when possible.  

Non-defining: ‘Whom’ cannot be omitted.  

Defining
“The cousin (whom/that) we met at the family reunion is coming to visit” (We met him/her)
“George is a person (whom/that) I admire very much” (I admire him)

MORE FORMAL: “There was only one person to whom the old man spoke” (‘to whom’ cannot be omitted)
LESS FORMAL: “There was only one person (who) the old man spoke to” (‘who’ can be omitted)

MORE FORMAL: “I like the people with whom I work” (‘with whom’ cannot be omitted)
LESS FORMAL: “I like the people (who/that) I work with” (‘who/that’ can be omitted)

“The parents (whom / who / that) we interviewed were all involved in the case”

Non-defining
“My friend, whom I’ve known for years, came to my house today”

MORE FORMAL: This is George’s brother, with whom I went to school.
LESS FORMAL: This is George’s brother, who I went to school with.

MORE FORMAL: “This is George, whom you met at our house last year
LESS FORMAL: “This is George, who you met at our house last year

MORE FORMAL: “Steve, whom I’ve known for a very long time, is one of my closest friends”
LESS FORMAL: “Steve, who I’ve known for a very long time, is one of my closest friends”

“Helen has three brothers. All of them are married”
“Helen has three brothers, all of whom are married”

None of the ten people who applied for the job was suitable”
“Ten people applied for the job, none of whom was suitable”

Which

That
(in defining only)
Animals and things.  

‘That’ is more common and more informal and can be used only in defining clauses.  
Defining: ‘Which/that’ can be omitted when possible.  

Non-defining: ‘Which’ cannot be omitted.  

Defining
“This is the house (which/that) Jack built” (‘which/that’ can be omitted as the subject of ‘built’ is ‘Jack’)
 “This is the house (which/that) Jack built it

“Here are some cars which/that have been affected by the storm”
(Here you can’t omit it because there would be no subject)

Non-defining
We had fish and chips, which I always enjoy(this ‘which’ cannot be omitted)
This park, which we love, is always really busy on Saturdays” (this ‘which’ cannot be omitted)
“Anna told me about her new job, which she’s enjoying a lot” (this ‘which’ cannot be omitted)
“Fortunately we had a good map, without which we would have got lost”
“Yesterday we visited the City Museum, to which I’d never been before”
“My brother showed us his new car, of which he’s very proud”

“They asked me a lot of questions. I couldn’t answer most of them
“They asked me a lot of questions, most of which I couldn’t answer”

“Kate hardly ever uses one of her computers.
“Kate has got two computers, one of which she hardly ever uses”

WhereUsed to talk about a place.
It is followed by a noun or a pronoun.
Defining: ‘Where’ can be omitted if there is a preposition.

Non-defining: ‘Where’ cannot be omitted.  

Defining
“This is the classroom where I teach English”
                        “This is the classroom I teach English” (‘Where’ cannot be omitted)

“The hotel where we stayed was very small”
“The hotel we stayed IN was very small” (‘Where’ can be omitted if there is a preposition)
                        “The hotel we stayed was very small” (here, ‘where’ cannot be omitted)

“The house where we lived was very cosy”
“The house we lived IN was very cosy” (‘Where’ can be omitted if there is a preposition)
                        “The house we lived was very cosy” (here, ‘where’ cannot be omitted)

“I recently went back to the town where I grew up”
“I recently went back to the town I grew up IN” (‘Where’ can be omitted if there is a preposition)
                        “I recently went back to the town I grew up” (here, ‘where’ cannot be omitted)

Non-defining
“We visited a town called Chelmsford, where we had lunch in an Italian restaurant”
Stratford-upon-Avon, where Shakespeare was born, is an amazing town”
“Kate has just been to Sweden, where her daughter lives”

  WhenUsed with times, to make clear which time we are talking about.Defining: ‘When’ can be omitted when possible.
 
Non-defining: ‘When’ cannot be omitted.  

Defining
“I remember the time (when) I met you” (‘when’ can be omitted)
“That was the moment (when) we arrived” (‘when’ can be omitted)
“It was the day (when) the tsunami happened” (‘when’ can be omitted)

Non-defining
“We’re going on holiday in September, when the weather isn’t so hot”
(‘when’ CANNOT be omitted)
December, when Christmas is celebrated, is a summer month for the southern hemisphere”
(‘when’ CANNOT be omitted)

  WhosePossessive meaning.
For people and animals.
Sometimes for things in formal situations.  
    ‘Whose’ can never be omitted.

Defining
“She’s the woman. Her son won the Nobel prize”
“She’s the woman whose son won the Nobel Prize”

“What’s the name of the man? You borrowed his car”
“What’s the name of the man whose car you borrowed?”

Non-defining
My next-door neighbour, whose children go to school with ours, has just bought a new car”
“Yesterday I met a woman named Susan, whose husband works in London”
“Mark, whose brother works with me, wants to buy my house”
“Our teacher, whose name I have forgotten, was very kind”

  WhyThe reason something happens.
The reason why/that something happens.  
    ‘Why’ can be omitted when possible.

Defining ONLY
“The reason (why/that) I’m phoning is to ask your advice”
“The reason (why/that) I left my job was that the salary was very low”
“The reason (why/that) they don’t have a car is that they don’t need one”

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